Stranger: clean or dirty???
You: Hail Satan, have a nice day!
Stranger: Wow, thanks
You: You're quite welcome my dear.
Stranger: You're so polite wowee
You: Thank you! I appreciate your kindness.
Stranger: I appreciate yours, and your politeness! You done good son
You: Ahem, I am not a son.
You: Apologies, that was slightly rude of me!
Stranger: Oooh, my apologies, dearie
You: You had no indication I was female.
You: It's not your falt
Stranger: Ah, but it was also quiet rude of me to have partook in such a bad joke
You: Anyway, down to business!
You: Are you intersed in a job?
Stranger: What kind of job, miss?
You: It is a recruitment job.
Stranger: Recruitment for what, pray tell?
You: I have such a job!
You: Welll.. ahem... It's... to put it politely...
You: damming souls. The pay is quite good! 2 hours with the hellhound puppies per "new employee"
Stranger: Oooh, I'm very interested!
Stranger: Would you happen to have any other information?
You: Really?! Oh thank goodness!
Stranger: Work hours, benefits, the like?
You: Well. Your employer would be Lucifer, of course, and the benefits is office air conditioning (trust me, this is a blessing), lack of eternal torture, and the work hours are eternity with three year breaks every century.
You: Ok! you'll start as soon as you die.
Stranger: Are you hiring immediately, or is there somewhere I need to apply?
You: Just recite this...
You: O mighty Lord Satan,
God of this world,
God of my flesh,
God of my mind,
God of my innermost Will!
Every part of this world is within Your power.
You are within every part of this world.
Every part of me is within Your power.
You are within every part of me.
I am Yours, whether I serve You willingly or not,
for I am myself, whether I am true to myself or not.
Of my own free will, I now acknowledge Your power.
Of my own free will, I now present myself to You.
Stranger: Now, or when I die?
You: Now, I you please.
Stranger: Excellent, I already have.
You: very good! see you in twenty to fifty years!
Stranger: See you in Hell!
You: goodbye, dear!
I love damning souls